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03/13/2025

Today’s blog

Lynn Murphy Mark

The past blew into my awareness

At the seasoned age of 75 I have accumulated lots of stories and memories of the people who helped make them. Once in a while someone will float into my awareness from decades ago, and this happened to me the other night. 

Once upon a time, in 1983, I was hired by St Anthony’s Medical Center in South County. My task was to open a new psychiatric service. As the Nursing Coordinator I was to work side by side with a Clinical Coordinator and create a new service on the campus. We spent the entire summer of that year interviewing hundreds of people to staff 75 beds. We labored long and hard to create programming for a variety of units. We were in construction meetings for hours for the important job of picking colors and carpets and furniture. We opened our programs on my birthday, September 20^th, 1983. That was a memorable birthday…

My first co-worker was a really nice man who lasted about six months under the constant pressure of a difficult boss. More about her later. Anyway, when he resigned, looking depressed as a dog, I was on my own until a replacement could be hired. It took a few months to find just the right fit for this job. 

One morning I was introduced to my new co-worker. He was a young man, good looking, and dressed impeccably. His PhD was in psychology, which seemed apropos. He was settled into his nice office – mine was a small room next to the elevator shaft. I should have known right then what my boss thought the pecking order should be between a nurse and a psychologist – even though this nurse had been singlehandedly running the joint.

Here’s my favorite, somewhat appalling story, about our boss. After the Psychiatric Center increased to 150 beds and a new building was put up to house an Adolescent Center, we managers were stressed to the max. I volunteered to go talk to our mutual boss about a few things that we could use to support the programs and keep making the boss look good. I went to her office to plead our case. I could tell by the look on her face that she was not pleased. Here’s the best part: her comment that ended the meeting was, “Well it sounds like I have a bunch of brain-damaged whinebags for managers.” I couldn’t wait to get out of there and go tell my coworkers what she really thought of us.

But back to my psychologist friend. He had a great sense of humor, which seems to be my #1 criteria for becoming friends with anyone. We collaborated well and continued to improve the services offered at SAPC. Both of us had a pretty strong work ethic, which is an important factor when one is in the trenches. That kind of relationship stands the test of time.

Anyway, the other night his name floated into my awareness. I don’t know why, although I have fond memories of our work together, suddenly he would pop into view in my mind. I decided to use Mr. Google and see what I could find out about him. Turns out he has a successful consulting service and the website included a picture of him, complete with graying hair. There was an email address, so I wrote him a brief note titled, “a blast from your past”. 

I got an answer the next morning. He is about to become a grandfather this year. His son lives in Los Angeles, just like Ted. He remembered working together when I was pregnant with Ted. And he asked about Jackie. He suggested we zoom together soon.

We have a lot of years to cover, and I can’t wait to hear his very funny stories about his work. I emailed him back this morning agreeing that we should zoom soon. 

Our work relationship lasted almost a decade. He knew me when I was in a very dark place and offered his support and kindness. We lost touch after he left SSM and started his full time consulting business. But, more than 40 years later, I remember how much I cared for him. Sometimes people float in and out of our lives for a lot of reasons. He definitely is one of the good guys that I have encountered in my lifetime.