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04/21/2025

Today’s blog

Lynn Murphy Mark

A small let down

Easter is over. The New Jersey boys and girl are back at home. Mollie Dog is home from the kennel. This house is very quiet after a few days of boyish antics and energy and loudness. There are tiny lego pieces still scattered around. Perfect fingerprints prove that boys were busy at our glass dining room table. Small amounts of whole milk and orange juice are still in the refrigerator. Cameron’s art work is displayed on the bookcase. 

He has said he wants to be an artist, but thinks he has to be an engineer. After witnessing his lightning quick build of a big Lego kit, I believe he will be in whatever field requires an eagle eye and a quick grasp of shapes and how they fit together. Of course, he’s only 7, so much more will be revealed before he settles into a career – probably not in my lifetime.

Alexander will be the popular mayor of a city when he grows up. He never meets a stranger and is eager to play with whoever else shows up at a playground. For now, he is a follower of his big brother a lot of the time. They are so close in age that it’s like they are twins and what one doesn’t think of, the other one does. Jackie and Momoh have their hands full with two bright and very active boys. My friend, Ginny, who has two almost grown grandsons tells me that at their age they are still messing with each other just like they did when they were little. Oh boy.

We brought Mollie home a couple of hours before I took the boys and their mom to the airport. Jan had a session with the boys where she laid out the best way to handle a skittish dog who is afraid of just about everything and everyone. The boys took her at her word and were very quiet and calm around Mollie for as long as they could be. Mollie hid behind my legs for a while, but eventually she retreated to her blanket on the couch. 

Then Cameron, who might be a little afraid of dogs himself, accomplished the almost impossible. He sat quietly next to Mollie, petted her head gently, and didn’t talk. That was surprising in itself and she stayed in her spot. But the biggest surprise came when she flipped over on her back and exposed her belly so he could rub it. She doesn’t do that for anyone at first, and often doesn’t trust anyone but us enough to show her most vulnerable side. There was an exchange of trust and understanding between boy and dog. Jan is still talking about it.

The Sorry set and Wicked Monopoly game are back on their shelf, probably until the next time boys visit. Alexander showed his prowess at counting and reading cards, which I think is great for someone in Kindergarten. He has a quick grasp of the rules, although he proposed many modifications, mostly to increase his odds of winning. He wasn’t real happy when we refused his suggestions. We did spend hours in happy competition. 

I never knew my grandparents, three of whom died before I was born. My maternal grandmother was a strict and mostly humor-less woman. She did not tolerate any loud behavior or any arguing about rules. How she produced my mother, who was very funny, I’ll never know. What I did learn from Grandma was respect for my elders and the futility of having too much fun in her presence. 

My own mother died before my kids were born. I know that she would have been a good grandma to be around. She loved card games and laughing and would have adored Jackie and Ted. So, I feel like it’s up to me to present as she might have if she’d had the chance. I treasure my role as Yaya to my two boys. But let it be known that I can be firm when it is called for.

As we were driving to the airport, from the back seat came some Cameron wisdom. “I feel like I’m exactly where I belong.”, he declared. “And I’m happy with it.” So this morning I miss those little boys and am so grateful to be a part of their lives.