Bloggerlife.blog

05/08/2025

Today’s blog

Lynn Murphy Mark

Room at the table

Yesterday being Wednesday, I met Rose for breakfast at First Watch – where everybody knows our names. Just like “Cheers”, when we enter to be seated most of the staff know us and some will come to our table to greet us. It is always a sweet experience. We are so set in our ways that we don’t even get menus. We just order our usual and are quite satisfied to get it and enjoy the food. That was the first table of the day.

This month I am in charge of the tech job of setting up our computer for a hybrid 12 Step meeting. I unpack the HP computer – a little funny since many 12 Steppers call their higher power, “HP”. Anyway, it was fairly seamless, although I had to be shown the tiny button to push to turn on the computer. It’s been a while since I had this job…Soon enough there were people on the screen and people coming in the room.

We sit around 4 tables, arranged in a square. The meeting room is in a church, as are so many 12 Step gatherings. Churches are generous with their space and in return we pay a fair wages quarterly to guarantee our spot. Since I am the treasurer I get to take the money from the basket and bring it home to put it in a safe place. This is considered being of service, one of the tenets of 12 Step life. Serving others is a form of therapy for many of us addicts who have a tendency to be somewhat selfish and willful. 

Yesterday the room was crowded as people wandered in. There were just enough chairs for to go around. As each person came in we crowded together to make room at the table for everyone. No one had to sit on the outskirts. All were welcomed to a place at the table.

Ours is a speaker meeting. Every week someone different talks about their experience, strength, and hope. Our speaker was celebrating 41 years in recovery and spoke about what had kept her coming to meetings all that time. It was a review of the important aspects of 12 Step: Having a sponsor, being a sponsor, working the steps, and developing her higher power, the God of her understanding. She spoke of the people who had given her time and love and helped her evolve from “a hot mess” to the relatively serene and happy person she is today. 

Almost everyone in the room shared after she spoke. Our speaker had touched some deep spots in us as we each reflected on her words, and what an influence she has been to so many in the room. I hope she was touched by how many people give her credit for a part in their recovery from their substance of choice. She has been my decades-long friend and has played a significant part in my journey. I told her I was glad she didn’t count billable hours for all the teaching she has done for me. 

A few people shed tears during their shares. One woman said she was so grateful to have found this community, this village that is our Wednesday meeting. I looked around the crowded table and thought about how quickly and easily we made room at the table for everyone. The idea of a village is spot on. We come in to take our place at the table and offer whatever we have that may be of help to someone else. Invariably, we are helped by our fellow travelers as well. 

Wednesdays are the day I meet with my sponsors. One of the wonderful women that has accepted me stays after the meeting so we can talk. She has been in recovery a very long time and her wisdom is precious to me. My other sponsor is available by phone in the evening and we work on whatever task we have assigned ourselves. She is another wise soul who has walked my same path. In their own ways they make room for me at the table in the village. I am grateful.