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05/25/2025

Today’s blog 

Lynn Murphy Mark

The Promises

Today is an anniversary of sorts. It is the day that we started moving our stuff from Florida into our new condo here in Saint Louis. It was 2018 and we had made the decision to leave the Sunshine State behind in exchange for a place that has actual seasons. In the back of my mind was my memory of why I left Saint Louis in the first place – the long overcast winters. Santa Fe had beckoned for a long time and in 2009 I finally packed up and moved out there where there is no overcast anything, hardly ever. Then in 2012 we acquired a condo in Naples, Florida.

But we have deep roots in Saint Louis, and I think we were a little homesick. So we “downsized” for the second time, moving from a two bedroom condo into a one bedroom, compact place. In the ensuing seven years we have accumulated stuff and every square inch of storage space is taken up. 

One of the greatest gifts of this move was being back in the presence of precious friends. For me, existing in close proximity to Rose again is a delightful proposition. In fact, this afternoon we will watch Cardinals baseball together – a time honored tradition. Rose has been a teacher as well as a great friend and soul mate. One of the best things she did for me was to persist with her invitation for me to join AlAnon. This was nothing new. She had tried to get me there for many years and I resisted.

Finally, in June of 2018, I gave in. Now my Wednesday morning meeting is as important to me as work and church. In fact, it is a spiritual endeavor and a place where I can share my qualms and troubles. I can also share my experience, strength, and hope – the golden trio of 12 Step programs. 

It occurred to me this morning to explore the spiritual significance of the number 12. Wikipedia and Quora,com tell me that “the number 12 often represents completeness and wholeness, order and divine guidance.” In the Unity faith, the founder, Charles Fillmore, wrote about the 12 powers that we each are given by God. There are 12 Apostles, and 12 lunar months. Spiritually it can mean that one is on the right path, supported by a Higher Power.

In 12 Step life, its importance is obvious. The Steps are a way of life that emphasizes spiritual connections and an honest approach to life on life’s terms. In these programs there are also 12 Traditions, or methods and actions to support the functioning of any 12 Step group.

Then there are the 12 Promises found on pages 83 and 84 of the AA bible, the Big Book. Every week we recite the Promises at the end of our meeting. The words are among the most powerful in a book that is filled with wisdom and hope and reality. They are spiritual guarantees of living a clean life. While they are all compelling and helpful, I have two favorites to write about today. 

Promise # 11 says, “We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us”. I havw spent a baffling amount of time being baffled by what I see and hear. As a kid growing up in an alcoholic household I spent a lot of time wondering if what I was witnessing was “real” or “normal”. I wondered if I was supposed to try and fix things by being the best, most responsible child possible. These days I am absolutely mystified and baffled by what is going on in our country. I have learned, through my program, to listen to my intuition, my gut, the voice that tells me what I need to concentrate on to live in these times. 

Promise # 12 says, “We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.” In my entitled, all-powerful addict’s mind I used to believe that I was responsible for your peace of mind and mine too if I had enough time. Now I am learning that it is ok, and healthy, to rely on God when I have run out of ideas. I still like to solve things on my own first, but I’m getting better at saying, “I can’t. God can, I think I’ll let God.”

I am so grateful for all 12 of the Promises, all 12 of the Steps, and all 12 of the Traditions.