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07/24/2025

Today’s blog

Lynn Murphy Mark

My cousin Sarah

When living overseas, the word “family” takes on a different meaning. Every three years, my parents and I would come to the United States for “home leave”. It was a time to reconnect with stateside family and friends. In our case we had two places to visit: Tulsa, OK, to see my maternal grandmother and my uncle was one. But my favorite was Winchester, IN, to see the Murphy clan of aunts and uncles and, best of all, my Uncle Pat’s five daughters. 

We would stay with my Aunt Doris who lived on the family farm and took care of the land and the animals. I loved going there because there were cows and chickens and I would get up with Aunt Doris before dawn and go gather eggs. She showed me how to milk a cow which was a magical experience for a city kid. There was always a dog, too, who mostly lived outside and craved human interaction. In a sort of porch/utility room there was a butter churn and a wringer washer-dryer. When I wanted to go explore on my own, there was a small creek to play in.

Then we would go to Uncle Pat’s farm. He would be out working the fields and sometimes he would let me up in the huge tractor with him. One vague memory I have is of wandering into a fenced pasture where there was a big old bull. I had no safety awareness, being just over toddlerhood, and I thought I could just go and pet that huge creature. I didn’t notice the little knot of adults outside the fence who were trying to figure out how to rescue me without being rushed by an angry bull. I am here to tell about it, so they must have figured out a way. 

The other half of the Pat Murphy couple was the hardest working woman I have ever known, my Aunt Audrey. She was raising five daughters and working the farm at the same time. Meal time at their house was a little noisy and a lot of joy to me. I, being a single child, longed for siblings. The prospect of being one of five was beyond my imagination. I just stared at all of them together and wondered what it would be like to have to share my stuff with other human beings.

Most of the girls were a bit older than I was. But there was Cousin Sarah, only a couple of years my senior, and I knew I could count on her to play with me. My other cousins were Ann, Caroline, Elaine, and Jane. Each had a distinct personality, but I was drawn to Sarah who was more my size. 

Over the intervening years I grew closer to my Cousin Ann, but I always remembered Sarah’s warmth. She was the keeper of the family news and the one who might initiate a plan to get together. When I had my own children there was a family reunion planned. By that time my cousins had a whole tribe of children so it was a rather large gathering. Just a couple of years ago she orchestrated a “cousins’ reunion”. My Cousin Jack and his wife came from Iowa and I made my way there from Saint Louis. Sarah’s house was the hub. We looked at old pictures, listened to stories, tried to remember the details, and laughed a whole lot. By that time, Cousin Ann was long gone from our sight, having died at a very early age. But her presence was felt. Cousin Jack was in treatment for his own encounter with cancer but was feeling very hopeful for the immune therapy regime he was on.

I loved every minute of that reunion. To see the Murphy girls and laugh along with the funniest one, Cousin Jane, was well worth the experience. The girls were still poking each other verbally and recalling memories as we gathered around the living room of Sarah’s welcoming house. The other sisters, Elaine and Caroline, added their perspectives into the very funny mix. 

This last Tuesday was Sarah’s 78^th birthday. I sent her a facebook greeting to wish her a great day. But God and the Universe had other plans for her. Sometime during the day on Tuesday she died suddenly and very unexpectedly. She was at home. She must have called 911, but she couldn’t reach the front door to let them in. The paramedics entered through the garage and found her unresponsive. I don’t know details, but I know they worked to bring her back but were unable to do so.

I got the news early yesterday morning. I just stared at the words telling me she had died and couldn’t wrap my mind around them. I still can’t. I’m waiting for news of any arrangements. I will go if I can, to pay my respects to Nora, her family, and the other Murphy girls. Rest In Peace, sweet Sarah.