Bloggerlife.blog

12/13/2025

Today’s blog

Lynn Murphy Mark

Soul softening

There’s something about this time of year that turns me into a real softie where just about everything is concerned. I am usually a person who likes sunshine and lots of it. But that changes every Advent and lasts into the beginning of the next year. I find myself appreciating the gray, quiet days and the especially dark and long nights. My friend Rose says this is “diesel-down time”, when becoming more pensive and quiet is called for.

Every Advent, my mind goes to thinking about Mary, the mother of Jesus. I relate to her being young and pregnant. Now, I was in my 30’s for my childrens’ births, so I can’t know what it felt like to be barely a teenager and given such a responsibility under such mysterious circumstances. But as a young woman unprepared for the real pain of labor I learned valuable lessons in the delivery room. 

I experienced pain unlike anything I’d ever felt before. But somehow the pain was a hopeful sign of the beauty and joy to come. I do admit, though that the second time around I did insist on whatever anesthesia I could have, a request that actually slowed down labor. But anything was better than my memory of an unmedicated “natural” childbirth. Then I think about Mary, who did not have the option of a spinal block, a sterile delivery room, and a handful of helpful attendants. 

The other night, at a Christian Christmas rock concert I responded to a  request to sponsor a child in another country. The brothers who performed gave the audience a heartfelt talk about a 501c3 organization called “Compassion, Inc.” For a monthly fee, I could make some difference in a child’s life. I signed up, believing that it was the next right thing to do. My boy is named Brayan, and he is a 5 year old from El Salvador. The price tag? Very close to what I spend each month at Starbucks. 

Yesterday was my best friend’s birthday. Rose attained the august age of 85. As I drove to Maplewood to meet her for breakfast my mind went to our friendship and what life would be like without it. I thought about my chosen family of friendships of many years duration. I teared up, while driving, at the deep meaning of such relationships. I was reminded never to take them for granted. More Advent tender feelings…

The deepest sadness I feel is because of the fact that my children and grandchildren live a good distance away. If I’m not careful, I will dwell too long on the joy of past Christmases and become just a tad morose. As I listen to Christmas music, all sorts of memories pop up. I have to consciously remind myself of all the blessings in my life, and that helps mitigate my self-pity.

At my workplace, the Social Workers have been extraordinarily busy organizing deliveries of food and gifts to many of our families. They spend hours qualifying clients for things like Santa’s Helpers, Toys for Tots, and the 100 Neediest cases. I am proud to work for an organization that supports these efforts, and am grateful to the women who give of their own time for the benefit of our clients. It takes hours to do what they do so graciously.

In my immigration law program, we have a private donor who gives hundreds of dollars throughout the year. That generosity has paid for so many benefits for our clients – all of whom are facing financial challenges that most of us will never experience. Our Social Worker identifies needs and figures out a way that some money can really help a family. I report periodically to our donor, who does not want any public acknowledgement of her generosity. As a result, the neediest of our clients will have food, and toys for their kids.

I am grateful for these distinctly seasonal feelings. What I need to do most of all is extend them to last throughout the year. That will be my New Year’s resolution for 2026.