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05/15/2025

Today’s blog

Lynn Murphy Mark

A few more hours

Since January 20, 2025, my work load has shifted. I spend a lot more time on the telephone taking calls directly related to 47 and his egregious immigration “policies” and thuggish detention of innocent people. Saint Louis does not make the national news when it comes to immigration stories, but we have plenty of people who are terrified – and with good reason.

This trend has affected my ability to do intake work and work on my 51 cases. And we are down one person who recently retired. She will not be replaced, unfortunately. All her cases went to my attorney colleague, who fortunately had enough room in her case load to take them. Still, it was a big jump in her responsibilities. So much so that I cannot assign new cases to her. That leaves our boss and me to take the new cases who qualify for our services.

Fortunately, and happily, six of my clients will become citizens this month. Their names will go off my whiteboard and into the pile of “to be closed” files. Sometimes, though, that is not the last I will see of some of them. Now that they are citizens, they are able to petition certain family members still living overseas. One of my new citizens want to petition for his wife and daughters who are living in Mexico. As my boss told me, once you help someone with an immigration benefit, you become their legal representative for life!

Anyway, It’s not uncommon for me to spend a third to half of my working hours on the phone. Last week I was talking to two people in Kennett, Missouri, about a very unexpected arrest and jailing of a beloved community member. The woman had gone in for her annual ICE appointment and had been arrested and thrown in jail in Rolla. She works as a waitress in a popular restaurant and is well known to the community. As soon as news came out about her arrest, people in Kennett started making calls on her behalf. One caller is the pastor of a church there, and the other lady I talked to is an elderly woman who loves the immigrant who was arrested and wanted to know what she could do to help.

I get lots of calls like this. I have learned a few things that I can offer to callers. If it is not known where the person is being detained, there is an “ICE Detainee Locator”. Once the location is known, people can make calls to the detention center to inquire about the status of the person detained. It is even possible to set up phone calls with the person. At that time, it is important to remind the detainee that they have the right to ask for an attorney and the right to remain silent. They have the right to obtain copies of documents related to their immigration case. If the person is well known to the community, like the lady in Kennett, concerned people can call our Senators and register their concern. 

Even though I tell people about this stuff, I don’t know if the jails are honoring the detainee’s basic rights and due process. Given the heavy-handed tactics that are on the news daily, who knows if there is any provision for a person’s constitutional rights to be given to them.

The latest chilling news to come from Stephen Miller, who vehemently hates immigrants and who wields a lot of power with this administration, is the idea of suspending “habeas corpus”. This means suspending the rights of a person to challenge their detention in court and determine if their detention is lawful. This is a constitutionally guaranteed right except in the case that Rebellion or Invasion threaten the public’s safety. Someone help me understand how an immigrant from Hong Kong who serves meals to people can possible threaten anyone’s public safety?

I am glad to report that I was given permission to extend my work schedule from 20 hours a week to 24. Those extra hours will help me be as efficient as possible. There is just so much to do…

05/13/2025

Today’s blog

Lynn Murphy Mark

Changing the world

This morning I woke up thinking about Margaret Mead’s famous quote: “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” I know this is a result of a dinner out last night with seven of us who have built a relationship with each other through our racial justice learning group. In our group there are people giving gifts of themselves to the world. There is a retired Counselor, a retired Attorney/Social Worker, a practicing Minister, a practicing Social Activist and Caregiver, and two Catholic sisters who apparently will never retire. It’s a nun thing. I’m at the tail end of the group, a retired nurse and practicing paralegal.

Our book group has disbanded, but the friendships remain. Being in the midst of these women is heartwarming and supportive. One of us said our group is a part of her mental health and wellness practice. We are like minded when it comes to current affairs. With the ending of our reading and discussing, we have now become seekers of ways to engage and protest what is going on in our country. We send each other information about happenings in town. 

Last Saturday, four of us joined a small group of protesters outside of Kirkwood’s city hall. We held up signs that pointed out all of the intimate parts of Democracy that 47 is trying to dismantle. TRUMP VS THE CONSTITUTION, TRUMP VS DUE PROCESS, TRUMP VS FREE SPEECH, are just a few examples of our signs. I held up one that asked people to SAVE OUR NATIONAL PARKS. This dedicated group is out there every Saturday from noon to one pm, exercising the right to free speech and orderly protest. I’ll be there as often as I can.

Last night on Rachel Maddow’s hour, she showed a bunch of clips of people protesting around the country. It appears that more and more people are speaking out about the gestapo tactics of police and ICE people arresting peaceful demonstrators, like the Mayor of Newark. There was a clip about HIS (Homeland Security Investigations) trying to manage a crowd around the Mayor. The most disturbing images came as Worcester MA police and ICE agents battled a young woman to the ground. Local community people soon gathered and tried to protect the women that were being manhandled. One brave woman was in the midst of the fray while holding a baby. 

Meanwhile at Newark’s Liberty airport, there was yet another outage of 90 seconds in length – time when air traffic controllers can’t see what is happening in the skies around them. I’ll bet 90 seconds is plenty of time for an air disaster to take place. Of course, this administration is blaming Joe Biden, and DEI policies, for an antiquated system in our nation’s airports. And, guess whose company is getting contracts to install Starlink, a satellite internet service developed by Space X, aka another Elon Musk company.

So, our conversations around last night’s table were lively and thought provoking. We spent an especially long time discussing the new Pope, Leo XIV. One of us read a quote he may or may not have said that encourages people to be “woke”, because “woke” is not an evil thing, “it is gospel”. And we were delighted to talk about the small group of European leaders who met with Volodimir Zelensky and gave Putin an ultimatum. They accomplished this without the involvement of the United States. We are no longer viewed as a leader in the free world.

All of this while 47 is crowing about being gifted with a half a billion dollar airplane by Qatar. What he neglected to say is how much it would cost and how long it would take to equip the airplane with all of the features of Air Force One. And he didn’t mention how accepting this is in direct defiance of the Emoluments Clause that specifically prohibits this kind of exchange without the consent of Congress. So, I think of this not as a “gift”, but as the perfect example of “grift”. 

Our little group decided to get together at least once a quarter. That prospect makes me happy.

05/10/2025

Today’s blog

Lynn Murphy Mark

“I don’t know”

Someone should start keeping a record of how many times 47 uses “I don’t know” as an answer to so many questions about the state of our country. It would seem that he genuinely is ignorant of who is really running the asylum and what their policies and goals are. Just as he did last term, he is not reading his daily security briefings. Apparently he has enough confidence in his ludicrous picks for important positions that he can’t be bothered to really pay attention. 

Question: “Is your administration sending migrants to Libya?” Answer: “I don’t know, you’ll have to ask Homeland Security.”

Q: “Is everyone in the United States entitled to due process?” A: IDK, I’m not a lawyer…”

Q: “Don’t you need to uphold the Constitution of the United States?” A: “IDK…ask the Attorney General”…

Q: “Do you know about possible tariff exemptions…?” A: “IDK. I’ll think about it.”

Q: Can you answer why you picked a non-practicing physician as the Surgeon General? A: “IDK her”.

It appears that we can expect 47 to claim ignorance every time he is questioned about something even a little controversial. IDK covers his behind, at least in his mind. During his first term he used these words to describe himself, “My two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart.” (Twitter). I read somewhere that 47 lives in fear of developing dementia like his father did. Well, he better be really scared these days because it seems he may be on that very threshold. 

In 2019 group of 37 Psychiatrists and mental health professionals updated the book, “The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump”. They have come under criticism for disregarding an ethical guideline established by the American Psychiatric Association. The rule prohibits psychiatrists from offering professional opinions about the mental state of individuals they have not personally examined. The authors of the book say they are honoring the “Duty to Warn” standard of their profession. In any case, for that many professionals to put their opinions in a public forum, I think of the saying, “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.”

For every IDK that 47 utters I stop to wonder who is really in charge. My mind leaps to consider Stephen Miller, the White House Deputy Chief of Staff, as a driving force. And, add Susie Wiles, Chief of Staff, to make the most powerful duo in the world. To me they are even more frightening than Elon Musk, because they work quietly in the background, using 47 to push through a dangerous agenda. In a February 2025 piece, CNN states, “From a small West Wing office down the hall from the Oval Office, Miller is a leading force behind a relentless flood-the-zone strategy inside the White House, helping guide the president through the opening weeks of his second term. It’s a playbook Miller has spent many years thinking about. Miller’s title means he operates without Senate confirmation, but he is far more influential than many officials who do.” CNN, 02/10/2025.

In 2020, journalist Jean Guerrero wrote a book about Miller and called it, “Hatemonger”. I admit I have a copy of this book and have not been able to crack it open yet. It’s been sitting on my shelf for at least 5 years. I bought it because in 47’s first term, Miller was the driving force behind all the reprehensible immigration actions, including ripping children from their parents’ arms. It’s time to buckle down and open it.

Today at noon I’m joining a small group of protesters in front of Kirkwood’s city hall. Rose has joined this bunch and I am happy to stand by her and hold up my sign. Other good friends will be there too. It promises to be a perfectly sunny day to work on raising consciousness about the dilemma we are in right now. Maybe more people will join us down the road. The stakes couldn’t be any higher.

05/08/2025

Today’s blog

Lynn Murphy Mark

Room at the table

Yesterday being Wednesday, I met Rose for breakfast at First Watch – where everybody knows our names. Just like “Cheers”, when we enter to be seated most of the staff know us and some will come to our table to greet us. It is always a sweet experience. We are so set in our ways that we don’t even get menus. We just order our usual and are quite satisfied to get it and enjoy the food. That was the first table of the day.

This month I am in charge of the tech job of setting up our computer for a hybrid 12 Step meeting. I unpack the HP computer – a little funny since many 12 Steppers call their higher power, “HP”. Anyway, it was fairly seamless, although I had to be shown the tiny button to push to turn on the computer. It’s been a while since I had this job…Soon enough there were people on the screen and people coming in the room.

We sit around 4 tables, arranged in a square. The meeting room is in a church, as are so many 12 Step gatherings. Churches are generous with their space and in return we pay a fair wages quarterly to guarantee our spot. Since I am the treasurer I get to take the money from the basket and bring it home to put it in a safe place. This is considered being of service, one of the tenets of 12 Step life. Serving others is a form of therapy for many of us addicts who have a tendency to be somewhat selfish and willful. 

Yesterday the room was crowded as people wandered in. There were just enough chairs for to go around. As each person came in we crowded together to make room at the table for everyone. No one had to sit on the outskirts. All were welcomed to a place at the table.

Ours is a speaker meeting. Every week someone different talks about their experience, strength, and hope. Our speaker was celebrating 41 years in recovery and spoke about what had kept her coming to meetings all that time. It was a review of the important aspects of 12 Step: Having a sponsor, being a sponsor, working the steps, and developing her higher power, the God of her understanding. She spoke of the people who had given her time and love and helped her evolve from “a hot mess” to the relatively serene and happy person she is today. 

Almost everyone in the room shared after she spoke. Our speaker had touched some deep spots in us as we each reflected on her words, and what an influence she has been to so many in the room. I hope she was touched by how many people give her credit for a part in their recovery from their substance of choice. She has been my decades-long friend and has played a significant part in my journey. I told her I was glad she didn’t count billable hours for all the teaching she has done for me. 

A few people shed tears during their shares. One woman said she was so grateful to have found this community, this village that is our Wednesday meeting. I looked around the crowded table and thought about how quickly and easily we made room at the table for everyone. The idea of a village is spot on. We come in to take our place at the table and offer whatever we have that may be of help to someone else. Invariably, we are helped by our fellow travelers as well. 

Wednesdays are the day I meet with my sponsors. One of the wonderful women that has accepted me stays after the meeting so we can talk. She has been in recovery a very long time and her wisdom is precious to me. My other sponsor is available by phone in the evening and we work on whatever task we have assigned ourselves. She is another wise soul who has walked my same path. In their own ways they make room for me at the table in the village. I am grateful.

05/05/2025

Today’s blog

Lynn Murphy Mark

My sports buddy

Last night I had the pleasure – well not with the outcome – of watching the Saint Louis Blues play game 7 against the best team in the NHL, the Winnipeg Jets. I went to Rose’s house to watch the game and be educated about hockey. She has been trying to get me savvier and interested in hockey, so I’ve decided to do just that. She tells me there are very few rules in hockey. Things a player can’t do are called icing, slashing, off-sides, and some mean action called high sticking. For me, it’s a challenge trying to keep track of that tiny black thing called a puck. The speed of that thing flying across the ice is incredible. The fact that players can “control” it with a stick that’s got a little blade on the end is remarkable.

More than half the fun comes in the company of my soul sister, Rose. We have been watching sporting events together for decades. The various seasons find us either in attendance at a game or in our usual seats in front of the television. We have been known to attend at least one Cardinals game a month in person, in our favorite venue – the Redbird Club. This year, with a team that is really struggling, we are saving money and watching on TV instead.

The Cardinals were playing a double header against the Mets, who are a very good team this year. We are not so good, in fact, we are playing less than .500 baseball while the Mets are at .629 at the top of their division. The good news is that we won both games, proving that there is a chance for the Cardinals as the season unrolls. Anyway, thanks to the wonders of a remote control device, we could switch back and forth between baseball and hockey when the ads came on.

As we watched hockey, Rose patiently explained why an icing call was made, why one of our guys wound up in the penalty box, and the significance of a power play or an empty net. I was still just trying to keep track of the puck as she elaborated on different aspects of the game. 

The Blues scored two goals in the opening minutes of the game and Rose’s living room got loud as a result. After the first period, they went into the locker room up two goals on the Jets. Part of what their coach said to the team was broadcast. “No one expected us to get this far,” he said, “ except for all of us in this room.” And, to be playing against the best team in the NHL, was significant.

I suppose my favorite player is the goalie. That person has to have lightning reflexes and bowels of steel. Over and over our goalie, Jordan Binnington, threw his body around blocking that deadly missile as it came flying at him. A puck is made of vulcanized rubber, hard as a rock, and capable of incredible speed as it flies on the ice. A little bit of history: the first hockey pucks were made from frozen cow dung – thank you Wikipedia. Now they are hard rubber discs that can travel as fast as 105 miles per hour. No wonder it’s hard to keep track of them. 

Rose and Mary went to a Blues game some weeks ago and now Mary is a fan as well. In her over 20 years here, she has become a fan of sports other than soccer. Since she lives with Rose, it is understandable that she would be drawn into the drama of the games. She has gone from someone who used to wander off during games to someone who is planted in her chair, someone who yells as loud as the rest of us. She keeps up on news about the teams. Both of them must share the sports section of the Post-Dispatch to know as much as they do.

So that’s how a very enjoyable evening was spent. Unfortunately, the Jets tied the game in the last second of regulation time, so overtime was necessary. It was getting close to my bedtime, so I left with Rose’s promise to text me whatever the outcome. So this morning, there is a text saying that the Blues lost in double overtime. That’s really too bad, because they were playing what looked like a dazzling game. I am so grateful for my sports sister, and grateful for the many hours we have spent together sharing a love of sports. It doesn’t get much better than that.

05/01/2025

Today’s blog

Lynn Murphy Mark

The Big Book

Last night my sponsor and I shared our impressions of the last two stories in the AA Big Book. We started this months ago – reading two stories from this book that is the backbone of the 12 Step movement and talking once a week about the readings. It was my second time through this valuable resource. This time it was an exercise in close study of its wisdom and in sharing with another person just exactly what reading the pages called forth from each of us. 

Now, my sponsor is a Big Book devotee. She goes to Big Book study meetings and has made her way through the pages a number of times. I don’t know who’s idea it was to do such an in-depth examination but I am so glad we did. Even with her years of recovery, she found a wealth of material to support her daily search for the spiritual peace that the 12 Step program has to offer.

The book was written for alcoholics. It was first published in 1939 and has been updated several times over the years. Because it was initially written with male alcoholics in mind, new chapters written by women have been added. The latest version of the book is more contemporary. My copy is now colorful as I have used various colored felt tips to highlight words and phrases that are meaningful to me.

My substance of choice is not alcohol. But because I am an addict, the same principles that apply to an alcoholic apply to me. That is why the Big Book is such a valuable resource. Regardless of what substance is misused, the message of recovery applies across the board. 

Nowhere in the book does it imply that there is anything easy about recovery. Everywhere in the book is the message that the most important work is spiritual. Many of the stories tell about a person’s struggle with their personal definition of a Higher Power. What is wonderful about the book is this particular passage: “To us the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek.” For me, this message of acceptance of my definition of a Higher Power is reassuring.

Some of us grew up with a frightening or negative view of God. Some never developed any kind of relationship with something bigger than themselves. All through the Big Book are stories about finding a connection with a power that can accomplish what we cannot do alone. For some, their higher power is their recovery group. Some have different names for their HP. One man I know calls God, “Howard” as a play on words from the Lord’s Prayer, “Hallowed be thy name”. The first time he heard the prayer, he heard Howard, and it stuck. I have always appreciated his personal connection to Howard.

All through the book are references to the absolute necessity for “HOW” – Honesty, Openness, and Willingness. This time through the book this message of acceptance of life on life’s terms spoke loudly to me. Change is necessary. Not easy, but absolutely essential. One woman told me one time that when you are committed to changing your use of a substance, you also have to change the playpen in which you consumed the substance.

I have many friends who are in recovery. Over the years they have been an inspiration to me. Some of them have over 40 years of abstinence from their drugs of choice. All of them work their program one day at a time, which for me is the only way to approach my disease. I have learned that I can do anything for a day. I don’t have to wonder about a future without my substance of choice. 

A sentence from the very last story is this: “It’s no great trick to stop drinking; the trick is to stay stopped.” So that is the underlying goal. My Higher Power that I call God, is with me every day helping me to keep working for recovery. 

04/29/2025

04/29/2025

Today’s blog

Lynn Murphy Mark

Into action

Rachel Maddow has spent the last few shows featuring results of many polls. Not one was able to show 47 in a favorable light. It appears that his first 100 days have done nothing but trample on people’s right to due process, strip our Federal agencies of necessary personnel and programs, and ignore judicial attempts to rein him in. In addition, she has been showing clips of huge numbers of protesters all over our country. 

Last Sunday Vicki and I attended the regular service and then walked into the room where a speaker’s series is held monthly. This week’s speaker was a woman named Cynthia Changyit Levin. She is a member of the church and has spoken before. She is a lobbyist, defending causes and programs that support the most vulnerable people in our country. She meets regularly with the staff of Senators and Representatives Hawley, Schmitt, and Wagner. This year so far she has arranged 11 meetings with staff members in defense of food stamps, Medicaid, and foreign aid. 

In addition to a very busy Mom and travel schedule, she finds time to write. Her first book is called, “From Changing Diapers to Changing the World”. It is a book about how ordinary Americans can effectively take action to preserve our values. She is now writing book number two devoted entirely to becoming an proactive activist. I bought a copy of her first book and sent it to my daughter, Jackie. I am on the list to receive a copy of book number two when it is available in May. 

She advised the group to write letters to our congress people. Letters, she said, are read by staffers. Whenever there is a name and address in the letter, the sender receives a reply. The staffers keep track of the issues raised in our letters and feed that information to their boss. While we were listening to her, she passed out copies of a letter urging Hawley, Schmitt, and Wagner to support certain Federal programs that are in danger of being severely cut. She encouraged us to multi-task and fill out the letters while she was presenting. Many of the people in the room did just that.

She encouraged us to attend protests. I thought of my friend Rose, in her 80’s, who protests outside of the Kirkwood city hall once a week. She takes her sign and her chair and shows up to get a message to drivers passing by. This coming Saturday there is a protest scheduled to support workers, including the thousands of Federal workers whose lives have been changed by receiving emails telling them they are no longer employed. I intend to be there, rain or shine. 

In the presentation one of our congregants made a chilling statement. She said she wasn’t even supposed to be speaking about her topic because she is a Federal worker. The gist of her message is this: 47’s regime is moving so quickly to destabilize our government that most congress people have no real idea of all the changes being forced upon us. Money to support these destructive efforts is changing hands so quickly that it can’t easily be traced. There was absolute silence in the room as we absorbed her words. Just when I think I can’t be shocked any more, I hear something that makes me sit up straighter, listen carefully and shake my head in disbelief.

There are things I can do. I can write letters. I can call Senators and Representatives. I regularly write to the Democratic National Committee urging them not to be so damn polite. I want my Democratic legislators to get out of their offices and fight back. So Saturday there was an all-day sit-in in DC of random Democrats finally showing up in public. I can attend my local Indivisible group meetings and get directions on other ways to support my causes and protest. 

When I think of all the chaos that this administration has created in just 100 days, I realize that I can’t sit back and be discouraged. The time for that was over on day 1 of 47’s regime. We are only 100 days into the 1460 days that 47 will be in power. I owe it to my fellow travelers to get out and do my part.

04/27/2025

Today’s blog

Lynn Murphy Mark

Much ado about not much…

It’s possible that I am running out of topics to write about this week. It’s been a pretty quiet few days and there are no burning issues other than the political landscape to put into words. Political information is everywhere, so I don’t need to repeat any of it. Except to say I am absolutely flummoxed by the government’s arrest of a federal judge for allegedly interfering with an ICE illegal move in her courtroom. She bonded out and will be “arraigned” next month. WTF.

One of our clients, a man who has been in the United States for decades, went for his annual ICE appointment. He had a deportation order years ago, but his home country of Laos refused to accept him. So he is here with the permission of ICE. He has no recent criminal record but he did have a drug charge against him when he was much younger. He has long been past the probationary period and has lived a quiet life since then. He has US citizen children. He comes to us once a year to renew his work card so he can keep working and paying taxes. Last week when he went for his check in they put an ankle monitor on him and told him he is likely to be deported. He called his attorney, my coworker, and was completely bewildered. “Where can they send me?” was his main concern. Not Laos, who still refuses to take him back. We are praying that a trip to El Salvador is not in his future.

Today after church there is a monthly speaker series meeting. This one is about taking back our country, given by a woman who is an activist. The title of her talk is “Take Back America”. She has been active in 11 congressional lobby meetings in DC. One of the to-do things is to create an advocacy action plan for ways to live out our faith by speaking up. My friend, Vicki, who has visited our church several times, will meet me there and we’ll go to the talk after church. I am really looking forward to this opportunity. I am so grateful to belong to a church that is not afraid to address the hard issues that face every one of us.

Next week I have a meeting with Pastor Kevin about renewing a prayer program. We will talk about the possibility of having people available to pray with congregants. I don’t know how this will look, but I am anxious to meet with him. This is one aspect of my Unity experience that I really miss. Perhaps there is a role for me at Parkway United Church of Christ. 

Yesterday, and every Wednesday, I have occasion to pass by what used to be Webster Groves Christian Church. I was baptized there as an adult, and my kids were in the youth programs there. I belonged to the choir, one of the best I have ever been a part of. The people of this church made a necessary and excruciatingly hard decision to sell the building and the property it occupies. The neighboring golf club bought it last year. This Spring the building is being torn down. The sanctuary is just about all rubble, but the bell tower is still standing. Every time I go by there I feel profoundly sad to witness the systematic tear down of my old church. It is a reminder of the fate of churches who can no longer afford to heat and cool a large building. 

Today is what we call a “Super Sunday” 12 step meeting. It is scheduled for three hours, with speakers taking up most of the time. My slot to speak is at 4:10 this afternoon. It is a privilege to speak to like-minded people just trying to work a good program. We all share a common addiction and a common desire to build an effective recovery plan. I am so grateful to be a part of such an effort. 

Well, that’s all she wrote. Signing off for now.

04/25/2025

Today’s blog

Lynn Murphy Mark

May 25, 2020

The year 2020 stands out to me for two reasons: COVID19 and George Floyd’s murder on May 25^th. Something else happened in July of 2025 during a Summer of protests about a cop putting his knee on George Floyd’s neck until George died on the pavement in Minnesota. The cop had no regard for the fact that George could not breathe. His level of arrogance was such that he did not care that his actions were being recorded by a brave young woman and her phone. Those images were powerful reminders that white supremacy took yet another Black life unfairly and illegally. 

Jan and I were quarantined in our home along with most of the rest of the country. We passed the time partly by reverting to childhood and putting Lego sets together. That was fun and fulfilling for the moment, and a bit silly for two old broads to be assembling kits that were marked for people 6+ years of age. 

As I remember it, our TV was tuned to MSNBC for most of our waking hours. We absorbed the reports of COVID deaths, and 45’s ridiculous suggestions for combating the deadly virus. Every day he came up with something so out of touch with the reality that all we could do was shake out heads. He mocked China and the medical experts who were clamoring for supplies and support in this unprecedented battle. He interfered with Dr. Anthony Fauci, one of the many voices of reason about the dangers of COVID 19. On 45’s watch in 2020, 350,831 Americans died.

Black Lives Matter was also in the forefront of the news. People wearing masks gathered to protest at least two needless deaths by police violence. Say their names. Breonna Taylor March 13, 2020. George Floyd May 25, 2020. 

As the Summer unfolded I got angrier and angrier. As is my very good habit, I talked to Jan and Rose and Mary about the helpless rage that made my stomach hurt. Together we came up with a proposition – what if we gathered a group of white people and started a reading group? We settled on the name of Racial Justice Learning Group. We chose the book “White Fragility” to start. We gathered over a dozen friends who agreed to zoom with us once a month to discuss our impressions and our feelings as we read through that very challenging book.

Last night, April 24, 2025, was the last meeting of our group. The people attending have changed somewhat over the years, but we have read 5 very good books that taught us the extent of racism in our country. We have discussed topics about our roles in the white supremacy that still rules. These were hard but very necessary lessons. None of us can unlearn what the books and our honest discussions have taught us. And, the friendships that have developed among us are relationships to cherish. There is so much power in a group of like-minded people whose minds are open to learn and change together. 

At our last meeting, one of us asked what we do now. This launched a discussion about the various ways we can protest what is happening in our country under the dysfunctional rule of the one who is now known as 47. Perhaps what we learned together over the last five years has better equipped us to speak up, to speak against, to speak out loud, to speak in the language of protest. 

As for myself, I have become much more comfortable speaking with my co-workers of color about their lived experiences through subtle and overt racism and daily microaggressions. I am doing what I can to be an ally. I would not have known how to do this if it weren’t for the Racial Justice Learning Group. 

Today’s blog

Lynn Murphy Mark

A golden thread

In 1958 folk singer and activist Pete Seeger wrote a simple song that carried a sweet message: “Oh, had I a golden thread, and a needle so fine, I would weave a magic spell of rainbow design.”  He also recorded the hymn, “We shall overcome”. It became an iconic civil rights anthem.

I first heard “golden thread” sung by Eva Cassidy, a songbird who made her transition at age 33, taken down by melanoma. A few decades ago, Katie introduced me to her. Katie heard her on a radio station, was taken by her clear, pure voice, and told me to look into her music. Not only did I look and listen, I was completely taken. Today I have a collection of three of her albums released after her untimely death.

Eva Cassidy was a shy person and had to overcome her nerves each time she appeared to perform.  The magazine, Jazz Times, says this: “Cassidy was no diva, she didn’t overload the songs with vocal gymnastics and stratospheric notes. Quite the opposite, she detached the songs from their genre associations so each became a kind of folk-blues-jazz hybrid. She pared them down to their emotional core… As important as her calm, unfussy phrasing was the tone of her mezzo voice – so glowing and disarming that she seemed to be confiding in each individual listener.” 

Yesterday I was at my weekly meeting. It has become a gem in my self-care jewelry box and I consider my companions to be a family of sorts. We are all gathered with the intention of improving ourselves and the hope that we each will make a difference in our respective worlds. 

Every week we have a visitor or two. Sometimes it’s a person newly on a recovery track. Yesterday’s meeting was attended by a first-timer. I watched him as he appeared to absorb what people were saying – he looked very carefully at each speaker and nodded his head sometimes. We had a couple of visitors from other meetings who pledged to come back next week. 

We are an unusual looking family. There is no resemblance among our physical features but we are brothers and sisters all the same. It is a meeting where sharing “experience, strength, and hope”  with each other is mostly the point. It is a place where all are accepted, regardless of circumstances. To quote another folk song, “you don’t need a ticket just to get on board”. Getting on board may be the greatest challenge someone has faced. There is no better, safer place to expose our inner workings, our troubles, and our triumphs.

We are each held safely by the structure of a series of life-saving steps. The readings are the same every meeting and I have almost memorized some of them. The words are encouraging and hopeful, but there is definitely work involved to achieve them. There is an expectation that we will look at ourselves honestly and dispense with the behaviors we used to cover our afflictions. Part of the process is to give away the secrets that bind us so tightly. There is no better place to get out of harm’s way. There is no better place to feel a change coming over me.

Yesterday our meeting was a mixture of the usual folks, some visitors, and a couple of new people. We come in all shapes and sizes. I looked around the room when the meeting was almost over and felt the presence of a “golden thread” reaching from heart to heart in that room. Eva Cassidy’s voice singing the song echoed in my musical midbrain and I know there is a precious connection with each person in the room.